The Day Medford Made It
#BreakingNews: Sources tell @news12 that #Medford home has more than 100 animals inside-including dogs,cats,rabbits & chinchillas.
— Alan Goodman (@AlanWGoodman) April 2, 2013
My hometown! WE MADE IT, EVERYBODY! I really hope this can soon become another fun fact on the Wikipedia article on Medford, which already includes nuggets like this:
A segment of Peconic Avenue east of Buffalo Avenue has been lined with automotive junk yards since the mid-20th century. Two long-standing auto wreckers have been Medford Auto Wreckers and Gershow Recycling.
Exciting times, you guys!
Adventures in Yoga
Tonight will be the seventh time I’ve done hot yoga since starting it last month, and while i thought it would be good for me, I’ve taken to it even more than i thought i would. It started as an effort to do something different than the usual weights or what have you, but it’s become such a routine that I was ticked off that I had to miss last Thursday’s class, before realizing I could just go on Friday. Whoops.
What Do I Want From The 2013 Mets?
A World Series Championship?
Well, yes, but that…probably isn’t happening. So what do I personally think would make for a relatively successful Mets season? I’m just about over spring training, so I came up with a few things that I’m hoping for as I look ahead to Opening Day.
Healthy Living And Gluttony
This is the third and final day I’ve given myself to “let myself go” for St. Patrick’s Day weekend. Since the Super Bowl I’ve been working out 3-4 times a week and doing hot yoga once a week on top of that, while cutting down big time on fast food and beer (I went 30 days without drinking anything). I’ve lost 10 pounds of body fat, gotten stronger, improved my cardio endurance and generally just feel more energetic.
The good (and bad) of it is that those times you do let yourself go, your body lets you know a little faster that you’re not doing yourself any favors…or maybe it’s just guilt? But I do know that this Cool Ranch Dorito Taco I just had did meet my expectations, so that’s a relief.
Business Plan!
On the way home from hot yoga tonight the radio played Disturbed and Hoobastank back to back (I left it on, because 2004!). This gave me the idea to start a yoga studio that plays only songs by Trapt, Papa Roach, etc. during each class, in an effort to really pull in that 35 year old-still-angsty male meathead demographic. I think it could work.
Dare to dream, people, dare to dream.
In 2012, Chase Headley, at age 28, finally completed one season that topped David Wright’s career OPS+ (amassed over 5,400 plate appearances) while hitting 31 of his 67 career home runs and posting inferior fielding metrics to Wright.
At least tonight’s WBC happenings don’t make Jeff Passan look bad or anything.
So I finally re-read The Stranger…
And I’m still not sure if I hate the guy, pity the guy, or sympathize with him. This is the kind of thing people figure out at book clubs, isn’t it?
I will say the second half of the book puts him in a far more sympathetic light. I spent the first half of the book wanting to slap him, even as someone who feigns indifference pretty often.
1990’s Disney Cartoon Theme Song Power Rankings
These are very scientific and very serious:
- Darkwing Duck
- DuckTales
- Chip and Dale’s Rescue Rangers
- TaleSpin
- Goof Troop
- Mighty Ducks
Darkwing Duck is obviously #1, because, “Let’s Get Dangeous”, with DuckTales being a close second for its gritty-yet-catchy analysis of life in Duckburg. I could go either way on 3 and 4 - it’s close but I feel like “Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip and Dale” is more memorable. Then there’s a clear drop-off to the two of the later shows, Goof Troop and Mighty Ducks, which were just trying way too hard to be hip.
Gargoyles had a pretty sweet intro but doesn’t count because it’s just narration; Aladdin doesn’t count because it’s basically just the song “Arabian Nights” from the movie, which is obviously cheating (the same goes for Timon and Pumbaa using “Hakuna Matata”). I don’t think I forgot anything else, or at least, if I did, I’ll just assume it wasn’t good enough for me to watch, as I’ve always had excellent taste in everything.
The Internet has become self-aware and is now channeling multiple outlets of my hatred into one singular, perfect Facebook ad, present in my newsfeed like a metaphorical mist of unsavory airborne chemicals worn by would-be WFAN callers. Luckily, the “report as spam” button exists, which has saved me a canister of gasoline and a computer tower. Close call.
Farewell, Mario.
Two and a half years of ups and downs, at times brilliant, at times infuriating, and always an entertainer. There was his play in the run to the FA Cup, the two goals vs. United in last year’s 6-1 annihilation at Old Trafford days after lighting his house up with fireworks (above), and the assist that led to Sergio Aguero’s title-winning goal. There were also the off-field antics, which reached mythical proportions, and the on-field issues that still keep him from reaching his very best more often, but in the end, his place in City lore is secure. A legend.
It’s pretty easy to tell that for all those reasons Balotelli quickly became one of my all-time favorite athletes. I’ll always be a fan, and I’ll be rooting for him in Milan. The Mario Balotelli Story still has many chapters ahead.
GPOYW
(Did you know MC Serch was a producer on Illmatic? True story!)
This photo is an homage to Jack Wilshere, who heartily applauded the wrongful sending off of Vincent Kompany in a game his team lost handily only to see it get overturned today. Scientists have yet to determine what aspect of Arsenal DNA that “hilarious clapping” comes from, or if it’s a remnant of any leftover West Ham United DNA Wilshere may have gotten from that shirt.
(Also, Bergkamp and Pires didn’t play at Arsenal until their mid-20’s and cut their teeth in the academies at Ajax and Metz, respectively. Arsenal DNA!)
CBS Is America’s #1!
Mike and Molly: They’re fat!
The Big Bang Theory: They’re nerds!
How I Met Your Mother: They’re bros!
Two and a Half Men: Ashton Kutcher!
NCIS/CSI/Blue Bloods/Hawaii Five-0: Crime in various locales!
(I know every network does this during the NFL Playoffs but why does CBS seem particularly over the top? Is it because I actively try avoiding these shows otherwise?)
LOL HEY GUYS HEAR ABOUT THE DEATH STAR PETITION?
It’s funny because a bunch of people thought it’d be THE FUNNIEST to make a petition to build a Death Star and send it to the White House! And then things got SUPER lulzy because some intern in the White House Press Secretary’s office wrote a clever response! And now I’ve literally seen it 15,000 times in three days and I can’t get enough! Hahahaha!
Also “The Administration does not support blowing up planets”, haha! Get it? It’s funny and ironic because we LITERALLY MANDATE THE USE OF FLYING DEATH ROBOTS THAT BLOW SHIT UP EVERYDAY! LOL comedy!
